Maturity

From IncelWiki.org, the incel encyclopedia

Maturity describes a state of mind where one feels at par with his or her peer group in terms of development. Many love-shys and incels think that they suffer from a lack of maturity, at least in the socio-sexual realm. However, they may feel more mature than their peers in other areas. This can be disentangled by describing maturity as an entity with multiple parts.

Mental maturity[edit]

A person who is at par or beyond his or her age group in thinking ability or interests is said to be mentally mature. Many Love-shys describe being far ahead of their peers or "adult-like" in terms of their hobbies and interests, and this often isolates them, causing their social skills to atrophy or never develop completely. Life can be difficult for a person whose mental maturity is not aligned with his or her peers, resulting in ostracization and all the negative externalities associated with it.

Physical maturity[edit]

Physical maturity describes a person's physical development relative to their age group. Well-developed secondary sexual characteristics are important for being successful in the socio-sexual realm. Absent other issues, an individual who develops late is unlikely to suffer from love-shyness or incel, but it can be doubly problematic for an individual who already has love-shy tendencies.

Problems that inhibit male maturation include, but are not limited to, undescended testicle(s), https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypogonadism, an extreme difficulty gaining muscle, a high-pitched voice, gynecomastia, inability to orgasm, and/or underdeveloped body hair. A man suffering these problems is likely to face additional challenges regarding dating, sex, and relationships, or D/S/R.

There is also a psychological element to male maturation. A man whose penis was damaged during development or circumcision with suffer psychological, in addition to physical, effects. The psychological element applies to other issues as well, like an unexemplary physique.

Emotional maturity[edit]

Emotional maturity describes being on-par with one's peer group regarding emotional experiences. Love-shys and incel people are often moderately to severely behind their peers when it comes to emotional maturity. At minimum, they may share common social experiences if reasonably extroverted, but will lack the deep bonding experiences that are associated with intimate relationships and personal contact. Since there is no way to otherwise replicate such experiences, they remain stunted until experiencing them.

Most Love-shys, however, as well as a sizeable number of incels, are not extroverts. Thus, they will usually not only be stunted in the D/S/R realm of emotional experiences, but also regular experiences. Many love-shys have few friends and/or are loners, shutting them out of much social contact and thus, stunting their overall emotional maturity. This can compound their D/S/R handicap.

Additionally, the lack of D/S/R experience tends to feed back on emotional maturity. Eventually, as the experience gap widens between a dateless person and his or her friends, he or she becomes less and less likely to relate to them. This effect magnifies when the friends enter long-term relationships or become married. It also means that an incel or love-shy is more likely to become estranged and lonely with age if their dateless condition is not resolved.

Issues like depression and social anxiety can be severe handicaps to emotional maturation, due to their isolating effects.

Combinatorial effects[edit]

Mental, physical, and emotional maturity tend to feed back among one another, strengthening the overall maturity of the individual, and likewise weakening if deficient. A severely unbalanced maturity profile is likely a major factor in predicting love-shyness or incel.

Congruence of maturity is also likely a major factor in an individual's personal confidence or lack thereof.

Solutions[edit]

To some extent, the issues can be resolved, but there will always be limits. Mental maturity that is above a peer group is and should not be "fixable," no matter how much the individual wishes it so. The best solution is to find like-minded peers, and building a societal structure that encourages children who are highly advanced for their age to find and mingle with one another. Mental maturity that is below average can be resolved with special schooling, though few love-shys or incel people are likely to suffer from this problem.

Issues with physical maturity can be resolved in some cases by seeing a physician or otherwise trained expert on the matter. They can also be mitigated somewhat with exercise. However, a person will always be limited by their physique and natural mental aggressiveness.

Emotional maturity is perhaps the most complex issue, and can only truly be brought to par when one is accepted by a member of the appropriate sex; those who are forced to live a life incel or love-shy will always be stunted to some degree.

See also[edit]


This page borrows some general ideas or text from the Love-shy.com Wiki. Borrowed material has been altered and is rarely reproduced in full. Relevant text is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0). The original text of the Love-shy.com Wiki page you can find here.