A male lesbian is a genderqueer male-identifying person who has always and will always want to make love as most lesbians do rather than how most heterosexual males do. They have never fantasized about penetrative sex while masturbating, have always preferred female sex roles to male sex roles, have never liked male sex roles on the whole, and if they end up in relationships, they tend to not be able to date hetero women honestly.
Like transsexuals, they may not value their masculine body, but unlike transsexuals, they do not experience gender dysphoria. Their sexuality is more of a gaze rather than an action, as they are typically love-shy and thus incel.
Genuine use of the term in LGBTA spaces has attracted vocal controversy, for example in the LGBTA Wikia, which currently thinks male lesbianism is real. Proper pronouns include ze/zem.
Male lesbian vs. transsexual
A few incels have publicly expressed that they think they are male lesbians, but are instead expressing transsexualism. Male lesbians do not want to crossdress or transition. The self-proclaimed, "male lesbian", and comedian Eddie Izzard e.g. is not a male lesbian, he is a crossdresser who is closer to a transsexual. As a forum user endplusone explains:
"A male lesbian accepts and favours their effeminate quality of themselves but still recognize and do not want to change their physical bodies, and continue to be attracted to the "opposite gender". How do I say this... like having a woman's "spirit" but a man's physicality... and are happy with both, even if it seems to cause a tension to those who don't understand. Feminine men or men who enjoy a feminine side of themselves, who are attracted to women. It does sound like MtF, but perhaps it's just part of a spectrum. They still define their gender identity according to their physical bodies and in that way it is not so much about what they want to become, but they associate [more] with feminine behaviour, roles, and so on."
Various 19th century French authors showed male lesbian tendencies, such as Jules Michelet. As shown through Michelet's writing, male lesbianism lacks penetrative fantasies, instead opting for adhesive fantasies. This likely applies to most male lesbians.
Furthermore, Michelet showed the male lesbian can be chivalrous, gynocentric, and superficial. While otherwise shy or even love avoidant, for the male lesbian, sex is about clinging to a woman. Figuratively covering a woman to the point of rendering her featureless.
According to Brian Gilmartin, the male lesbian, from an early age:
- does not want to play with males
- does not want to crossdress or transition
- does not naturally appreciate traditional gender roles
- does not want to make love to or experience sex with males
- does not have male recreational interests, and
- does not even want to procreate male children.
A male lesbian may only end up in relationships with bio-female bisexuals/pansexuals/etc who are able to appreciate both their male body and non-masculine mind.
Early friendships and early rejection
A male lesbian often has mostly female friends rather than male friends during their very early years. As the male lesbian grows up, he does not have status among men due to not engaging with them, and this causes women who start thinking romantically, to reject the male due to his low status among men.
Some have attacked the reality of male lesbians by claiming that it is not unusual as most men are attracted to lesbians and most men consume lesbian pornography. Male lesbianism is criticised by some as a hyper-fetishization of lesbianism. However, such criticisms usually ignore that the male lesbian is trying to point out that he is not just attracted to lesbians, but also is mentally non-masculine, and rarely, if ever, fantasize about penetrating a woman.
Others try to say that the term "male lesbian" is contradictory, as by usual definition, a lesbian is a biofemale. However, the term 'male lesbian' is not supposed to have medical linguistic power. It is describing a mental state.
LGBTA Wikia lesbian page controversy
On July 5, 2021, an LGBTA Wikia administrator named, "Reign of the breadsticcs", added to the LGBTA Wikia, lesbian page that men could be lesbians, and included an entire section on male lesbians.
In mid-2020 a radfem activist started a change.org petition for the lgbta.wikia.org site to stop saying male lesbians were real. One of the passages they had a problem with read as such:
Though the common assumption is that lesbians cannot be men, lesbianism can include any queer attraction to women. Some men, who feels their attraction to women is not entirely conformant may identify as lesbian. It particular, this some transgender men, who feel that their attraction to women can still be described as lesbian, although they are men. It also includes non-binary men, such as multigender people who have a male gender and genderfluid people who may sometimes be male (while still identifying as lesbian). It may also include m-spec men who are attracted to women and SAM a-spec men who feel that lesbian described their attraction
—LGBTA Wikia, July 14, 2021
The comments section of the relevant LGBTA wikia page was flooded with complaints from angry radfems saying that the term, 'lesbian', should only apply to women and should not include males of any gender identity. The LGBTA wikia admins were not persuaded by the activist campaign to erase male lesbianism, and proceeded to lock the lesbian page, as well as disable the comments section of the page.
The LGBTA Wiki did however make one concession to the angry mob. On July 15, 2021, "Reign of the breadsticcs", clarified in the lesbian page that only, queer, men could be claim male-lesbian identity in a valid way. The addition of this qualifier reduce the ire of many critics of the page, however as of September 20, 2021, the page and comments section of the LGBTA Wikia lesbian page remains locked. This still didn't pacify many of the protestors, who continued their rantings on Twitter and elsewhere.
On July 17, 2021, the LGBTA Wiki administrators also put up a notice asking the radfems to refrain from violence, as shown below: