Cold approach

From, the incel encyclopedia

A cold approach is when you try to ask someone out without knowing them. The opposite is a warm approach. It is one of the few useful terms to emerge from the PUA community.

Cold approaches, especially for incels, are much less successful than warm approaches, because women generally need to know a sub-8 guy for a while before she considers him a romantic and/or sexual object. However, some incels have reported limited success, i.e. getting a few dates after approaching thousands of women.

Some cold approachers approach women at random, while others only approach attractive women, while the most hopeless or ugly incels engage in juggernauting.

Success stories[edit]

Cold approach diaries on pseudo-anonymous webforums should be taken with a grain of salt. Many of theses diaries have been proven as fake. However, there's been some success stories relayed from the non-anonymous Facebook incel groups.

Names are anonymized/changed for privacy purposes.

Josh, Australia, Age: upper-20s[edit]

I am not a virgin, I lost my virginity to a hooker when I was 24. But I have had thoughts and feelings like you guys have so I can relate. Now this time last year I considered suicide. I was so lonely and depressed and felt so hopeless and felt like nothing ever will change. Family members would keep pressuring me to find a wife and have kids. I felt like such a loser. I even started distancing myself from certain family members to keep my sanity. One day, I took a day off work just to think of ways to end it. Thinking back to that day, I remember always wanting to give life one last chance before I pulled the plug. I asked myself, what if I go today but in 6 months time things got better and I’m not around to experience it. So I ended up signing a “6 month contract” with myself, promising I’ll do my best within the 6 months and not kill myself, and if things didn’t get better I’ll pull the plug.

Well in that 6 months my life started transforming drastically. It began with me not giving a shit about anything, just talking and doing as I pleased. I started approaching girls everywhere, on the street, in the shopping malls, at bus stops, train stations, at the park, at the beach. From then until now, I’ve approached close to 2000 women. It began with approaching and then giving some funny cheesy one liners, I was happy even if they just laughed and walked away. I noticed the reactions weren’t bad so I decided to push myself even further. I then worked on holding a conversation. I did that and it got better, women started giving me the time and engaged in some chatter with me. But I still wasn’t getting that romantic connection. The third stage was working on my body language, confidence, smile, eye contact, and this is what ended up breaking the camels back as they say. I started getting phone numbers, even a kiss close with one girl.

One girl I ended up dating for about 3 months, we didn’t have sex, we only kissed and she let me suck her tits, I think it was more her culture than me, so I saw it as progress. Currently I have started to date someone but we haven’t had sex. Quite frankly I find that to be not so important anymore as there is a girl who I like and who likes me and we’re getting to know each.

One thing I’ve learned from approaching so many women, even without scoring, is that it’s saved my life. Yep, in doing these approaches, I’ve found a lot of these hot girls are quite plain, besides their looks they’re not very interesting at all and can barely hold a conversation. As I got better with my approaching and as my confidence grew, I actually realised after 6 months...

I was gonna end my life for these..plain, boring, ordinary ppl in society? I knew at this stage that I had become better than them..not going by looks or social status, but what I had inside..the balls I had to approach any woman I wanted without any fear. That’s what gave me my lifeline. And today, a year from what could’ve been my death date, I can finally say this..I want to live now..I want to live, because I enjoy life, I have a job, a house, even if I don’t find love, my love I have for myself and life keeps my fire burning..

See also[edit]